We're Not In Shiver City Anymore

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to one of my most prized possessions. This is the Mario Mania Nintendo Player's Guide. I picked up a copy of this wondrous book for myself at a flea market at least eleven years ago. I love this book so much, the pages are beginning to fall out from the endless flipping.

On the cover, you'll see a mosaic of Marios in cartoon, puzzle, and woodcut form. He can skateboard, fly, and even be a cowboy! Oh, you never know what mischief Mario will get into next!

Today I shared my Mario Mania book in a show-and-tell for Graphic Design class. Only today, eleven or more years later, have I discovered that Mario is, indeed, holding a Super Star in one of these depictions, and not a wrapped potato. Throughout all my life, I never questioned why Mario was leaping while eating a potato, but now, I am wiser.

This just goes to show that you should never give up, and never stop learning, because one day, everything will be clear.

Golden Oldies Station: Scalding Hot Coffee Edition

Greetings, listeners, and welcome back to the Golden Oldies Station! Tonight we will be airing some official remixes along with one fanmade. Per usual, all of the songs originate from vastly different parts of the Mario game spectrum. So sit back, Smilax, and have a listen!

Yoshi's Story [Breakbeat Inferno Remix]

This song from Nintendo of Europe doesn't seem to be a direct remix of any full song, but utilizes the cute Yoshi voices from Yoshi's Story. It might not seem fitting to its source at first, but it emanates the sound of a dangerous adventure much like that in the game! It's a great mix of adrenaline rush and adorableness!

Game and Watch Gallery - Fire [Arranged Remix]

This official piece comes from an album full of Game and Watch Gallery remixes. Many songs on the album are so jolly that they remind me of Christmas time, and this one is no exception! The overall mood is very peaceful and I can imagine this playing in a town full of Toads, or even a cute modern Yoshi village.

Mario Paint - Gnat Attack 2 [Coffee Break Remix]

Gnat Attack 2 from Mario Paint is already a stupendous piece of music, so it's amazing what this fan has accomplished with their remix. With added gusto and style, this remix flows smoothly and is toe-tappingly satisfying. And if you like EarthBound, enjoy those random sound effects sprinkled in!

Thank you all for lending an ear, and I hope you enjoyed our broadcast! See you next time on the Golden Oldies Station!

You Know You're A Mario Nerd When, Volume II

You notice when the article for an exorbitantly obscure character on Super Mario Wiki gets inexplicably deleted (Why, Kimberlite, whyyyyy?).

You have the promotional Mario toys from Wendy's and Burger King, and you even kept the bags that the food came in because they had Mario pictures and activities on them. You threw away the cups (only years later) because you decided that's nastay.

You name a large portion of your virtual pets after Mario enemies, objects and characters like "Kounbaba," "P Balloon," and "Jugem."

You spend lots of time imagining exactly where you would live and what your house would look like if you could live in Mario's world.

You also imagine down to the last detail what species you would like to be and what you would look like.

You read your Mario Nintendo Adventure Books so much that the covers are disintegrating and no staples or tape can fix it.

You carry a tiny Spiny plush with you whenever you carry a bag. And a little plastic Yoshi on a strap. And a Paper Mario key chain. Bonus points if you're using your Mario purse or messenger bag.

You scour flea markets and thrift stores for cool Mario stuff. You bought an extremely weird looking Raccoon Mario plush for sixty cents and washed it up for your collection.

You decided to buy some Japanese strategy guides and when you receive them you wonder why nobody has scanned the uncirculated art inside them so you do it yourself.

In High School you decorated one of your folders to look like the Dark Prognosticus.

You're obsessed with the fact that some old official Mario websites such as Game & Watch Gallery 4 and Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door had unique or beta music on them and they are no longer accessible.

You miss Waluigi's spray paint game from the Mario Waluigi Tennis official website.

You've bought and won all different sorts of amazing Mario pin buttons but you have no idea where to put them because you don't want to make a hole in your Mario bag.

You wish you could turn your translucent Luma figure into a nightlight.

You plan to crochet your very own pair of Sockop socks.

You wish you could take a nap in the colorful flower patches on Starship Mario.

You've spent most of your gaming time just running around aimlessly and exploring levels because you wish you could actually be there.

You actually really want Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix but you're scared that if you buy it, it will be embarrassing to play with people in the house and/or you will break everything in your room trying to dance.

You wonder if when you drive with one of your windows down, the people can hear your Mario music playing and think you're an ice cream truck.

You're attempting to sew your own Snorkel Snake plush (based off of one that is your fan character).

You take the Super Mario Bros. HQ "Mario Fan Purity Test" every couple of years and you always get the result "Mario is a religion to you."

You feel like you've shamed the whole fandom because you lost your 25th Anniversary Mario CD and booklet (and your mushroom tote... and your Mario Kart 64 boxer shorts).

You actually tried playing Super Mario Homework for fun, and you only liked the surfing parts.

You spent an hour trying to perform the Black Room of Death glitch in Super Mario 64, on the original console, for your friends.

You heard of Herringway before you even knew Hemingway existed.

You wonder which species in the Mario universe are morally edible.

Halloween Hodgepodge

Download the Halloween Album, Phantasmal Patchwork!

Salutations, Scuttle Bugs, on this frosty Halloween evening. There's no more fitting time to hang up your Tanooki suits, kick your feet up, and listen to some spine-chilling scores! Amassed here is an anthology of unique and essentially overlooked treasures that all come from spooky situations in Mario and company's vast expeditions. Follow the link above to snag a pack of fifteen neatly arranged masterpieces, plus two surprise tracks!

Tracklist:

1. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars - The Sword Descends and the Stars Scatter
2. Super Paper Mario - Before Merlee’s Mansion
3. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door - Ghostly Encounter
4. Mario Party Advance - Shroom City (Horror Area Building)
5. Tetris Attack - The Place Where Evil Sleeps
6. Wario Land 4 - Crescent Moon Village
7. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars - The Dungeon is Full of Monsters (Kero Sewers)
8. Mario Party - Slowly, Slowly
9. Mario Party 4 - Mystery Train (Boo’s Haunted Bash)
10. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door - Riddle Tower
11. Paper Mario - Approach to the Mansion
12. Paper Mario - Boo’s Mansion
13. Mario Party 9 - Battle with King Boo!
14. Wario World - Mirror Mansion 1
15. Donkey Kong 64 - Creepy Castle (Catacombs)
16. Super Paper Mario - River Twygz Bed (Reversed)
17. *OBAKE OMAKE* rooD raeY-dnasuohT ehT :oiraM repaP - Gloomy Glitzville

Hope you all had a hair-raising holiday! Happy Twilight Trails to you all!

You Know You're A Mario Nerd When, Volume I

You see the badly drawn head of King Koopa in the clouds on the drive home.

You're bored at work and you imagine what it would be like if Rudy the Clown became your new coworker.

You drew your own Yoshi characters in elementary school and still draw new ones in college.

You can sing "Medamayaki" by heart.

You made your own custom Mario Party boards and player tokens.

You made a Pipe House out of cardboard and doll toys.

You hear Mario-game-specific instruments and melodies in unrelated songs. (Wario Land 4, or am I crazy?)

You had Luigi as your imaginary best friend when you were a child.

You see that all soundtracks for a certain Mario game online have missed a song so you make a recording of it yourself.

You have a stuffed penguin named Tuxie.

You have a stuffed dolphin named Stuffy.

You have a red, orange and tan stuffed snake named Hizza.

You spent unspeakable amounts of time copying and pasting Japanese characters from The Mushroom Kingdom's "Mario in Japan" section into Google to find obscure character art and merchandise.

You rewrote the whole Mario Kart 64 instruction manual into a notebook when you were young.

You imagine characters in sitcoms and movies as various Mario characters.

You ate a Luigi face sandwich with star buns.

Your mom yelled at you because you left the TV on at Seaside Town (or other locations) and turned the volume up to act as a music player back before you had an MP3 player.

You also held your Game Boy Advance up to your ear to listen to the sweet tunes of Mario Kart: Super Circuit before bed.

You played Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga for the first time and it was torture to go to school because you couldn't hear the awesome music and you didn't know it by heart yet.

You then spent all day trying to remember most of a song and ended up making crappy fan art of Peasley instead.

You have Mario shirts, pants, bed sheets, blankets, bags, wallets, and jewelry.

You still listen to Mario cassette tapes and CDs you made at least ten years ago.

You have used "Something Suspicious" and "E-Mail from X" (or Ice Land) as your ringtone.

You met your true love because of Mario.

Your true love gave you a question mark-shaped ring.

You want specific Mario songs played at your wedding.

Golden Oldies Station: Scary Beach House Edition

Welcome again to the Golden Oldies Station! Today's edition will be covering a wide range of genres. Whether you want to just relax before bed or get up and dance, we've got something for your Mario-music-craving self!

1. Luigi's Mansion - Main Theme [Funk Remix]

This piece is sensationally smooth and cool. The voice clips of Luigi thrown in are a very nice touch. I found myself bobbing my head along to this one!

2. Yoshi's Story - Yoshi on the Beach [Big Band Remix]

This is a very cute and soothing remix, expertly performed live. The light and airy sound is a perfect complement to the adorableness that is Yoshi's Story. I think this is a great track to play in the background when you're in the mood to relax and drift away to the beach in your imagination!

3. Super Mario 64 - Bowser's Road [deadmau5 Remix]

This is a more hardcore mix than the others. It is made in the style of the house music producer deadmau5. I really enjoy the dancy feel of this remix and the energetic atmosphere it provides.

Thank you for listening to this edition of the Golden Oldies Station! Catch us next time for more Mariorific remixes!

Bundled with Free Expansion Pak

After a long hiatus, I have decided to continue my adventure in the Mario fandom by starting a Mario-themed Tumblr blog. I will be submitting rare or interesting Mario-related pictures and videos there. It already has over one hundred posts, and I will continue to post there until I run out of material! Click here to enter Supper Mario Broth! I will post at this blog again someday, when time is more manageable, but for now, I hope you enjoy this mini-blog! See you later, Chuckolators!